PROCESS POSTS
Cultivation of an Idea
"The idea developed out of past interests and an intrigue into the seemingly desperate search into who we are."
Throughout my life, I have regularly turned to personality quizzes for a variety of reasons. Some of these reasons include entertainment, others called for personal reflection, and some were even for workshops centered around school and job searching. All experiences and reasons, however, focused around the want to figure out not only who I am, but also how best to function and interact with the world around me. I don't know where or when exactly this want developed for me but through discussions with friends, peers, and acquaintances it is evident that I am not the only one attempting to figure it out. The want to know ourselves, to understand who we are, and to therefore be better suited and adaptable to our environment appears to be a want shared by just about everyone.
Therefore, personality tests were the first central inspiration and focus of the film. My aim was that I wanted to capture and encapsulate common perspectives towards them and try to present a 'why' behind their existence, whether it be support or skepticism. Though personality tests were a good starting point for the film project at hand I didn't want them to be the only focus. I also wanted the film to present the audience with a platform of discussion mimicking that which is often heard among friends when the topic of personality and the question of 'who we are' is brought up. This film not only wants to spark discussion among its audience about personality test validity, nor is it's only goal to be the deliberation of how we come to know ourselves. My aim for this film was to produce a piece that also feels as though it is directly engaging the audience within the conversation, as though one were actually discussing it with a friend. This was the second primary inspiration for the film Who Am We: The 'science' behind personality.
A 1 Location?
"Is there a best place to learn about ourselves?"
One of the first questions I was presented with was where the physical filming was going to take place. Would it be outside, downtown, on the University of Kent campus, or beyond? The location is a central component as it must not only be familiar and relatable to the viewer, but it must also make sense so as to provide further context to the narrative and overall message of the film. This question was made all the more difficult when considering, 'where do we even begin to learn about ourselves in the first place?' To answer this question I first reflected on the ways in which I have gotten to know myself in the past. The answer I was met with is that it varies, often and regularly. Several times in the past there have been times when I have come to know myself through interaction with others. There have also been times when I have found that I interact and present myself differently based on the company around me at the time. Even more so, there are times when I have come to know myself best of learning something about me personally through alone time. I centralized my focus on such events, finding that it may not be any one specific location that allows us to learn about ourselves the best, but rather a mixture and blending of different locations and experiences. After talking with others I found I was not alone in my views, and discovered that just about everyone whom I spoke with shared my sentiments and viewpoint on personal discovery in some shape or form. Since this appeared to be such a central theme within the road to discovering our personalities and in turn who we are I wanted the film to express this in some way.
The most intriguing part about the whole process was that the questions I seemingly had appeared to answer themselves for me. When first beginning to develop ideas for the film my thoughts and overall execution of the process appeared very similar to the techniques I had learned from my background in photography and digital art. I was approaching this film with specific scenes I had in mind, drafted sketches of scenery and location, and thoughts on how I was going to present the abstract idea of discovering our personality through visuals to an audience. Though this process worked well for me in the past I found it greatly hindered me and caused me aggravation within this creative endeavor. By pre-planning, I was in a way forcing an unnatural aesthetic on the film and footage. This felt even worse by the fact that I was attempting to produce a film centered around personality and development of it, and rather than have footage that portrayed and contained personality I was left with footage that thought aesthetically pleasing felt distant and misplaced. If the personality of the film is not representative of its own natural self, then what message and emotion am I inevitably sending to my audience. Even more so how could I possibly hope to portray the dichotomy between personality and personality quizzes in a way that allows the audience to question for themselves if the footage before them was unengaging and lack its own form of presence?
Taking the Test...AGAIN
"Different results, no answers"
During filming, I required the participants to take the Meyer's-Brigg's Type Indicator test, both for filming purposes and so they would be able to converse and discuss with the questions and comments I had planned. Since I was requiring this of my actors and participants I figured I should probably subject myself to it, again, as well. This was at the very beginning of producing this film when I was still bright eyed and in full support of these things called personality tests. It's similar to a bad relationship really when you see red flags, terra cotta colored or otherwise, you should not only question but also move on. To say the least I should have moved on.
To preface this and as stated in the above posts, I have taken several personality tests throughout my life including that of the MBTI, Enneagram, StrengthsQuest, and several BuzzFeed 'which Disney Princess are you'. Out of all the personality tests, I have taken the one test that I have taken by far the most is the MBTI. Four times now to be exact. Every time I have taken the MBTI has been during or near a significant or personally defining point or event in my life. In all four of those times, I have received four different sets of results, and therefore four different personality types. This most recent time was no exception either. However, what I discovered is those who had taken the test before received the same answer this time as they did the last time they took it. Some of the participants had even taken it several times in the past and reported receiving the same answer this time as every other past time they have taken it. Immediately I questioned why I appeared to be the only one this had happened to. Either I'm mental, or my friends are just incredibly consistent and aligned individuals or is there possibly something else at play within the situation.
Though I did not have an immediate answer to the above question I did find myself wanting to emphasis such occurrences in the film. I felt that this occurrence, of receiving 4 different personality types, was a bit representative of whether or not a personality test could define us. It became something that I wanted to be present within the narrative so as to get the audience thinking about whether or not the test could be considered valid should it provide answers like the ones it gave me.
Compilation
"Development of an abstract idea"
The question of how to present an abstract idea like that of personality to an audience was both daunting and a bit headache inducing. My primary issue was how to not only represent an abstract idea, like that of personality but also how to ensure a discussion around it. After my initial approach of planning and sketching scene ideas and semiotic choices fell through I was left with very little to go off of. Everyone knows of personality and if you ask anyone they could easily describe it as well as give you an understanding of their own. It sounds easy enough but I can guarantee it was not that straight forward. This topic and the execution of the idea also gave me problems in regards to how to present the idea in as unbiased of a way as I possibly could muster.
When beginning to compile the narrative I first reviewed all of the footage that I had taken and pulled out the parts that stuck out to me the most. From here I reviewed these portions again and simply began to fit them together in attempts of creating a cohesive narrative. I had very little in mind aside from making it make sense to the audience. What I found was that by simply listening and observing the footage, and placing it where I evaluated it to present the most cohesive placement, the story and narrative took form all on its own. My primary motivation was assuring that the audience not only felt like they were part of the discussion but could also converse with the content of the film as well.
The Message
ENTP, INFJ, BULL, SHIT?
As Aidan said during the film, "I don't really know?" Those words are incredibly true primarily because of my motivations and goal for making this film centered around discussing the relevance and questionable importance of personality tests and the activity of personality testing. I was mostly curious about why personality tests exist and whether people found them useful or a hindrance. Overall I was spurred on by my disgust for the idea that 'big data' and bureaucratic methods could possibly define us as individuals and even attempt to truly understand who we are.
That is not to say that I don't enjoy personality tests here and there, and when necessary or sought out for. There are times when they are entertaining to take, and there are times when they are helpful when seeking out forms of self-reflection, understanding, and development. I do feel it is important to remember that they are inevitably a form of entertainment. Within my personal opinion, I do not feel we can boil each person down into one of sixteen categories because every person is different, hence the word individual. Each person has experienced a different life and reality, and through interactions with external forces as well as those we come in contact with assists in shaping us into who we are.